What Should I Talk About?
So you’ve decided to dive into stand-up comedy. Congrats, you delightful masochist! You’ve found the one profession where emotional trauma is a resume booster. And now you’re standing in the back of a dark open mic, nervously clutching a notebook filled with half-thoughts and doodles that may or may not be punchlines.
And the question hits you: "What should I talk about?"
As someone who’s been doing this since flip phones were cutting-edge and Britney was still on her first comeback, let me help you out.
1. Start with What’s Real
The best material? It's your life. Your weird family. Your terrible dates. Your job that makes you question capitalism. Your third-grade teacher who swore you’d never amount to anything (she was mostly right, but that’s beside the point).
You don't need to be funny yet — just be honest. Funny comes with time. Trust me: there's comedy gold in that time your aunt tried to do a TikTok dance at Costco.
2. You Are the Topic
I know, you want to be relatable. You want to do bits about airline peanuts or self-checkout machines. But guess what? Those topics are more stale than a gas station cruller. What’s relatable is you, struggling to figure out how to exist in this world.
Write about your insecurities. Your triumphs. Your strange obsessions. Your inability to fold a fitted sheet. The audience doesn’t need a generic narrator — they need you, in all your beautifully awkward glory.
3. Avoid the Lazy Traps
I get it — dirty jokes and shock humor feel like easy wins. And sometimes they are. But be warned: if you rely on cheap laughs, you’ll never build a strong act. (Also, if your whole set is about porn and poop, your grandma can’t come see you. And your grandma's laughter is the best laugher in the world.)
Be daring, but be smart. Anyone can be offensive. Few can be clever.
4. Try, Bomb, Repeat
Here's the magic formula:
Write it → Say it on stage → Bomb → Rewrite it → Say it again → Bomb less → Keep going.
You're not going to know what works until you test it. That brilliant story about the squirrel in your attic might flop. But that throwaway line about your lactose intolerance? Gets a huge laugh every time.
Comedy is weird like that.
5. Steal From Yourself, Not Others
Yes, you can admire your favorite comics. But don’t copy them. We already have a Kevin Hart. We don’t need a budget version with anxiety. (Unless that’s your actual act. In which case... brand it!)
Let your voice emerge naturally. The first few months (or years!) will feel like mimicry. That’s normal. But keep digging until it’s undeniably you.
6. Write Like Nobody's Watching, Perform Like Everyone Is
Don’t censor yourself when you’re writing. Let the wild ideas fly. Be weird. Be dark. Be mushy. Be you.
Then, when you’re on stage, deliver it like you’re the headliner at Madison Square Garden — even if you're performing for four comics and a bartender who hates you.
Because someday? You will be the headliner. But only if you keep showing up.
Final Thought:
Don’t ask, “What should I talk about?”
Instead ask, “What do I need to say?”
Because somewhere out there is an audience that’s dying to laugh at exactly what you’ve lived through. All you have to do is tell them.
Now go write. The mic is waiting.
– ANT 🎤
Want more comic survival tips from a pro who’s bombed in more zip codes than you’ve visited? Keep on reading, and don’t forget: keep the mic out of your mouth. That thing’s been places.
